Grey Thursday

Time passes very fast. it's like a blink and another day just passed so swiftly.
i'm getting older and my metabolism is decreasing as time pass. my market valve is also dropping when i'm getting older.

i'm a person who really realy wants to settle down because i'm really tired of playing games in this circle.i dun wish to wear a mask. i want to be myself.

its really foolish thinking that when i thought i put in 110% effort n loving wholehearted things will work out smoothly.

RUBBISH! Wishful thinking!
'when u wan to settle down it doesn't mean showing pple ur 110% means he also wan 2 settle down with u! i've met alot." Spencer quoted

i partial agreeed with him becos i experienced this before. i still believe there will be pple who wan 2 settle down like me in this world.

i decided a more freedom/less restriction way to deal with my love life but somehow i dun really use to this system thou i'm trying to adapt but i duno how long can i last.

Character is something that is hard to change. If both are not able to compromise with each other den no matter how many patch works done they just break. its like oil and water. They may always be side by side forever but they will never be always to mix together.if you are the oil and i'm the water, i just wish i could turn myself in some oil particle and merge together with u as 1.

Sweet memories and very hard to forget no matter what happened & bad memories are almost the same. Bad memories are scary but they can be erased by lots of care & concern n love.

MY ego n temper all started from the nightmare thy created.i just wish those things dun happen to me. It lure behind and i was napped and it turned me into a unloving living corpse.

if one is really to settle down,these mistakes would not happened.I hurted by you.I seek my revenge. i hurted u. my revenge is nothing great only scaring u, cant compared to wat u had done. i was emotionally torn into bits.

You may have asked how long do u need to recover? i cant gif a definite answer i can only say the cut is deep. it can heal as time passes when the help of care, paitence, never say die attitude. but how many pple in the world have that kind of never say die attitude, lots of paitence? Very little. unless u prove me wrong.

Dun ever say u did alot, u tried ur best. If u really did alot n try your best, why is the result different from what you expected?

Seriously i dun wan 2 mention the word 'break' again. Remember you are the originator for the problem u created. U make me drop my love, my care, my.... .. for you. I hurt u back and u want me to clap harder than u becos i hurted u.

Ask youself who is the originator to this? still want me to clap harder than u?
who should clap harder than?

y i'm not showing alot of love? BECOS:i'm still afraid. afraid that what if i give my 110% effort and this kind of nightmare haunt me again? i became cold and dare not show too much love to protect myself.

u too protected yourself in your own way.

i'm ready to put my ego down,trying slowly to forget those bad memories.plucking up my courage to love again. i'm kind enough not demanding you to clap harder than me but suggesting if you wan 2 clap togther with me at the steady tempo.

during this period its good to voice out anything u dun like. stop all those things that could hurt each other, that we dun like to see. this will push us forward than pushing us backwards.

i'm ready to put my hand to u as a gentleman, will thy take my hand & clap with the same tempo?

i duno i juz remain silent n cls my eyes.. ...