Fated

Is it fated that we meet.

Is is fated that we are to be apart.

Why when i wholeheartedly give my best and i'm fated this way?

why when we sincerely vow and we are fated this way?

Why u cant stabilise urself when i've hold your hands tight faithfully on the rope we are standing on together?

why you choose to drop down from high above and left me standing up there alone by myself?

Why you chose to abuse thy love becos everything is fated?

i've tried my best for you without regrets i leave.

i've given my almost to you without regrets i weep.

today i tore them all to clear n free the remain persistent souls within me and let the remaining stuborn sorrows shed till its end.

no more turning back becos there's no more U turn.

Thy lies had made my heart turn cold.

God have resurrected me. i wish my dream will come true!

Transition period

Recently met some one who is really nice and sweet. Thou is sunshine after the rain. There is still a transition period for me to start all over again for anything.

Yes... ...i juz want to date longer & see how things goes as time pass before any finally decision is made.

i appreciate all the efforts you did which blew me away.
so nice so sweet of you.

sunshine after the rain

well... i hope some1 above me finally heard my prayers... ...its sunshine after the unfaithful rain.
it has drench me to the skin but i've the sunshine to dry me up with lots of kisses n hugs love n care ;)

well i duno if the sunshine will scorch me but once bitten twice shy, i'll wear my sun block while tanning... ;)

Return to Innocence

Jerry From NOW onwards:

Just look into ur true heart,
that will be the return to urself,
the return to innocent.

if you want then laugh,
if you must then cry,
be urself.

i wan to return to innocent,
let everything be simple,
no more queries no more questions,
juz simple love n simple me,
thats not the beginning of the end,
thats returning to innocent

coughing non-stop

i've just recover from a throat imflammation recently. i thought i've ok le..
how i knew that sore throat juz lurk behind me and hit me.

i've been coughing n coughing like a smoker.
i felt i taste traces of blood from my saliva.
am i down with TB? *touch wood*

i'm not goin to clinics or get some med for some reasons.
i juz hope i'l recover from sippping more water.
i was talking to a fren juz now and he offered to buy me herbal tea.. wow..its really caring.

i just drink more warm water n drink it slowly as my fren said.. hope i can recover like tis.

when i'm not feeling well, i juz hope some1 will take care of me.Haix.

我怀念的

atteneded a wake yesterday. i saw their grany kids smiling. They dun look sad. i was asking myself why?

It brings me back to some old memories... ...during my granny's wake.

i ask myself this question how am i going to carry on to live when she is away?

i ask myself this question how am i going to carry on to live if my love one is away?

i begin to feel sorrow and very sad. Why din i visited her every weekend when i'm off work?

why didnt i pick a chance to talk to her when she was still around when i choose to remain silent and watch the tv instead?

why didnt i buy nice things to share with her when she is around?

Ya... ...i regretted and hate myself. i only start to do those things when she was diagnose with a terminal diesease.

i miss her so much!! if there is still a 2nd chance i wan 2 be a filial grandson!

Is it we only start to miss the person v much when he/she is away/not around?

Is it we only start to think of the good old times when he/she is away/not around?

Is it we start to cry and hate ourself when he/she is away/not around?

Is it we start to do many things when he/she is is going away or not around?

我怀念的

我还有想要爱你的冲动

我记得那年生日

也记得那一首歌

记得那片星空

最紧的右手

最暖的胸口

我放手

我让座

假洒脱

谁懂我多么不舍得

太爱了

所以我没有哭没有说

n

Grey Thursday

Time passes very fast. it's like a blink and another day just passed so swiftly.
i'm getting older and my metabolism is decreasing as time pass. my market valve is also dropping when i'm getting older.

i'm a person who really realy wants to settle down because i'm really tired of playing games in this circle.i dun wish to wear a mask. i want to be myself.

its really foolish thinking that when i thought i put in 110% effort n loving wholehearted things will work out smoothly.

RUBBISH! Wishful thinking!
'when u wan to settle down it doesn't mean showing pple ur 110% means he also wan 2 settle down with u! i've met alot." Spencer quoted

i partial agreeed with him becos i experienced this before. i still believe there will be pple who wan 2 settle down like me in this world.

i decided a more freedom/less restriction way to deal with my love life but somehow i dun really use to this system thou i'm trying to adapt but i duno how long can i last.

Character is something that is hard to change. If both are not able to compromise with each other den no matter how many patch works done they just break. its like oil and water. They may always be side by side forever but they will never be always to mix together.if you are the oil and i'm the water, i just wish i could turn myself in some oil particle and merge together with u as 1.

Sweet memories and very hard to forget no matter what happened & bad memories are almost the same. Bad memories are scary but they can be erased by lots of care & concern n love.

MY ego n temper all started from the nightmare thy created.i just wish those things dun happen to me. It lure behind and i was napped and it turned me into a unloving living corpse.

if one is really to settle down,these mistakes would not happened.I hurted by you.I seek my revenge. i hurted u. my revenge is nothing great only scaring u, cant compared to wat u had done. i was emotionally torn into bits.

You may have asked how long do u need to recover? i cant gif a definite answer i can only say the cut is deep. it can heal as time passes when the help of care, paitence, never say die attitude. but how many pple in the world have that kind of never say die attitude, lots of paitence? Very little. unless u prove me wrong.

Dun ever say u did alot, u tried ur best. If u really did alot n try your best, why is the result different from what you expected?

Seriously i dun wan 2 mention the word 'break' again. Remember you are the originator for the problem u created. U make me drop my love, my care, my.... .. for you. I hurt u back and u want me to clap harder than u becos i hurted u.

Ask youself who is the originator to this? still want me to clap harder than u?
who should clap harder than?

y i'm not showing alot of love? BECOS:i'm still afraid. afraid that what if i give my 110% effort and this kind of nightmare haunt me again? i became cold and dare not show too much love to protect myself.

u too protected yourself in your own way.

i'm ready to put my ego down,trying slowly to forget those bad memories.plucking up my courage to love again. i'm kind enough not demanding you to clap harder than me but suggesting if you wan 2 clap togther with me at the steady tempo.

during this period its good to voice out anything u dun like. stop all those things that could hurt each other, that we dun like to see. this will push us forward than pushing us backwards.

i'm ready to put my hand to u as a gentleman, will thy take my hand & clap with the same tempo?

i duno i juz remain silent n cls my eyes.. ...

NEW ME

Well... the new me will be diff from my previous image.
The new me opens up opportunies to make more new frens, any marketing new plans that can make money, any social service need my help i'll like to volunteer too.. =D

I use to be 'possessive' to a certain extend (mild) but i chose another path which opens up my life and the word 'possessive' to me will be almost close to zero.

The new me give myself alot more freedom and same goes to my loveones. We'll meet as an when we need. Text each other as an when we like. Have *** as an when we want. There's not alot of restrictions in this 'open r/s' but we do not follow all the rules in a real open relationship.

the meaning of open r/s also means a relationship (usually between two people) in which participants are free to take other partners. ... ...etc<- i dont like it this way.

i'll have my simplific version of a 'open relationship'. it certainly involves beening faithful,love,...... etc and not having ONS behind each other's back.

There's just more freedom n less restriction in a 'open relationship' than a áttached' status.

When we come to a point when both are ready to settle down as oné. mature enough, We will automatic change our status to 'attached' mode and live together, have our babies... ...

i''m ready to settle down but somehow i felt we should go thru the 'open relationship' stage 1st before any commitment. Learn to know each other more, learn to love, to care for others when we have more freedom and less restriction.

It seems easy but it may not be easy i tink. i hope it will work out.
we need to give den we will recieve as there is no free lunch in the world.